Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The State of Project Minima - Year 3, 1st Qtr.

Yes, I'm going into my third year now for Project Minima.  This summer quarter, production pretty much stopped alongside my mom's rapid decline in health.

Painting by Sally Moore.

It was only after she was relocated to a senior living community near us in Chicago last month, that I was able to focus on a new type of construction.  A Dress-Ability.  The confluence of mom being a bit more settled and of me being asked to participate in a show at my old gallery brought forth a renewed burst of creativity.

The only piece I produced this quarter was a dress made from an old turquoise top I deconstructed and various bits & pieces of fabric I auditioned from my stash.  I embroidered it's name, "Bounce Back-Ability" across the front.  I suspect it will become part of a series of Dress-Abilities.   You can see close ups of it on my Clothes from Summer page.


One thing I did do, amongst the traveling back and forth to Detroit every week to visit Mom, was buy things.  Like crazy.  Totally anti-Project Minima, stress-induced, and pseudo-creative.  E-baying shoes, oh my.  I don't know if I could even list them all.  (all cool of course.)  I would just mindlessly cruise shoes to turn my mind off.

And I lost touch with the whole bloggerhood.  I didn't post, or comment, or even read.  I wasn't able to focus and I felt bad about it.  But I'm back now, slowly, kinda intermittently, bouncing-back.  Mom's in the hospital again.  4th time in as many months.  Maybe, perhaps, it's time for palliative care...

20 comments:

  1. I'm glad you've been back. It's always hard when life changes in such a way. Wishing the best for you and your mom.

    Ebay has long been my own favorite comfort. Even if I don't buy a thing, I can sit for hours and look for shoes or clothes.

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  2. Yep, I'm sure you can relate to that!

    I am working on a new dress ability. I'm not sure what it is yet...something about fairy godmothers, I think.

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  3. For henna: try mehandi.com or hennaforhair.com (one big sister site). It's where I've always ordered mine from! Great site, good shipping, I just prefer to order it in batches rather than one box at a time.

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  4. With my mother in law dying this past month and both my parents now eligible for hospice, I understand somewhat. The grief book I'm currently reading stresses that every relationship is different, so I don't really know what you're going through, but I can certainly empathize. My parents are in Massachusetts, so I'm flying up there next week to give my sister a break. I understand you're the solo child, so that's a different dynamic.

    All that being said, we do the best we can. I just know I'm so happy to see you back, creating and inspiring. XXOO

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    1. Some days it's really hard. Today I couldn't sew again, I only sought to distract myself from myself. Didn't even get out of my nightgown and pantaloons! This hospitalization seems to be the worst for her. She is so desperately confused and despondent. And it seems that visiting her now causes even more trauma.

      It's so good to hear from you, Jean.

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  5. I understand you completely, dear Pao. My last three years have been a challenge - Mum being diagnosed with terminal cancer and dying a few weeks later and Dad with sudden onset dementia caused through an inoperable brain tumour. I've thrown myself into all kinds of mad projects, selling like a woman demented and getting up and digging the garden at 6am rather than have to think and dwell.
    Like Jean wisely says we all react differently. Blogging was my one constant in a haze of madness. I'm seriously impressed with your sole creation, no doubt it's up to it's usual incredible standard.
    Do what you have to, we're here for you when you're ready. xxxxx

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    1. Oh my goodness Vix, I had no idea your mum died so suddenly and so recently. How shocking for you. And the dementia is so hard to deal with too. I'm even more amazed by you, if that can be possible. And it certainly does show how everyone deals with it in their own way. You with massive amounts of energy to accomplish things. Me with disappearing into the fogginess. Thank goodness for clothes, eh?

      So glad to hear from you, Vix. You make me feel good.

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  6. Dear Pao, I can empathize with what you're going through with your mother. It can be very confusing and disorienting. I agree that we are all different and have unique ways to cope with the stress of caregiving. I have had periods of frantic estate 'sailing,' losing myself in choosing beautiful items that took my focus away from what was just below the surface. Please be gentle with yourself and whatever you do to manage this period of time is perfect. Thinking of you from Denver.

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    1. Oh, thanks for your kind words Judith. You are my source for a life lived with grace and style.

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  7. {{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    Pat my thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom during this time.

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    1. Gee thanks Tamera, I can feel 'em.

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  8. Dear Pat, I appreciate your perspective and wisdom here as always, and I write with deep appreciation of your Bounce-Back-Ability in both dress and super-power form. I too am no stranger to the soothing effects of scrolling through shoes when exhausted and disconnected from creativity by difficult life circumstances. I hope you've long let go of any feeling badly about a break from the bloggerhood - as all above have said, all is well. Thinking of you and your mom, xo

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    1. Ahh, shoe scrolling, I know it well. Some days this bounce back ability has been more of a thud. The fairy godmother dress has become a flop. Probably because of my intermittent focusing during this latest hospitalization which has been especially unsettling. But we are transferring Mom back to her senior living community this evening so...all's well that ends well. Then I shall retire the fairy frock and start again on something completely different.

      Thanks for being there, Amber.

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  9. Mum died 12 years ago, from cancer, and it was harder than I ever thought it could be.
    I've never met you, but we are all with you.

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    1. I appreciate you sharing your experience with me Indigo Violet. Thanks.

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  10. I'm so so sorry to hear about your mother, my heart goes out to you and her. No wonder you need something to distract you. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all cope with stress and grief in different ways.

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    1. Yes, and it helps to hear people say that over and over, because I always forget it when I'm in the midst of all that fogginess. Thanks, Veshoevius.

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  11. Darling Pao ... I'm so sad for you all with your mom's relapse. It's so hard on family, doubly hard on the one who is ill, and no good for anyone. Any good comes from whatever love is there and the bonds of family. I have so little family left, but I have been with both my parents at the end, and it takes every bit of you to get through. So I'm thinking of you.
    The one bright thing I can think of is that interrupted creativity will break out eventually! And in the periods between work, we may gain energy and new inspiration. My hope for you.

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    1. You'd think I'd know by now that creativity never dies, it just goes underground at times. But each time I go into dullsville, I feel like its forevah. Mom is doing better again, stronger, still confused. Talk about bounce back-ability. And I'm back to sewing.

      Thanks for your wise words, Jan.

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