Acedia: the lost name for the emotion we're all feeling right now*

   *from theconversation.com

image of Acedia by Hieronymus Wierix

 

     It begin as a deceptively slight shift in thought, or rather...a quick succession of thoughts that distract me from my right mind.  I've been working too long and need a break; maybe I should read a mystery novel to clear my head.  I tell myself I'm too weary to concentrate.  I tell myself that it is a matter of respecting my limitations, and of being good to myself.  If I manage to read one book, and then return to my other obligations, no harm is done.  But often, one book does not satisfy me.  My "rest" has only made me more restless, and as I finish one book, I am tempted to pick up another.  If I don't check myself, I can slip into a state both anxious and lethargic, in which I trudge through four or five paperbacks a day, for three or four days running.  I am consuming books rather than reading them.

 

    I may have begun with a well-written novel, but soon I am ingesting whatever I can get my hands on.  Morbidly conscious of the time I am wasting.  I race feverishly through a book so preposterously and badly written that it nauseates me.  If I pick up a more serious book, something that might bring me to my senses, I am likely to plow through it so thoughtlessly as if it were a genre thriller...My days are not lived so much as wasted in compulsive reading.  I stop answering the phone and getting the mail, ignoring everything but the next page, the next book in the pile...

 

     It amazes me how quickly acedia can deaden what has long been a pleasure for me, and with what facility despair will replace the joy I once found in the act of reading.  But my dilemma is less literary than spiritual.  If my torpor is left unchecked, I lose the ability to savor not only reading, but life itself.  I develop a loathing for fresh food, letting salad greens and strawberries languish in the refrigerator while I fill up on popcorn... 

                                                                                from Acedia & Me by Kathleen Norris

        

I couldn't believe when I read the above passages!  It was exactly what I've been doing/feeling.  I've read several books on the topic, and this one has been the most comprehensive thus far.

 

 〰

 

As for as Kondo-ing goes, I'm completely stuck at art supplies.  

 

I did finishing going through my books and unloaded all my art therapy books, psychology, women's studies, fiction and art magazines.  Kept all my art books.   That ended up being about 25 boxes to the Salvation Army.

 

Papers were a real drag.  I got rid of about 10 boxes of papers. 

 

And that's the way it is/was

 

Ever Onward

...in the midst of everything, 

I've been tidying and/or escaping by reading novels.  

 

~ rare needlework instruction book, Dublin 1833 with samples of sewing, embroidery, knitting and miniature clothing ~

 

But I did finish going through all my clothes (which included tops, skirts, pants, dresses, jackets, coats, scarves, hats, gloves, socks, undies, pjs, shoes, boots and bags).  Oh my.

 

 

~ Guerra de la Paz ~

 

Let me give you the stats.  

I got rid of 32 big garbage bags (to Goodwill). It me took about 3 weeks to go through all the clothes, and then reorganize what I kept and put it in place.

 

I'll break it down by category: 

 

4 bags of tops to go, 4 big piles to stay, took 2 days  

3 bags of dresses/skirts to go, 3 big piles to stay, took 2 days 

6 bags of pants to go, 3 big piles to stay, took 1 days

3 bags of jackets/coats, 4 big piles to stay, took 2 days 

0 bags of hats/gloves/scarves to go, all stayed, took 1 day 

4 bags of socks/undies/pjs to go, 3 piles to stay, took 2 days 

8 bags of shoes/boots, ? to stay (just enough to fit in my available  space!), took 6 days 

4 bags of purses/totes, ? to stay (I stopped counting the keepers), took 2 days                                               

 

 

Then I went on to books...

                                            ...but that's another story.

    

Oh No! A Moment of Clarity.

When did Project Minima turn Maxima???  I was just sitting on the couch last night when this thought came into my head like gang busters, totally unbidden.  "I have too many clothes."

~ painting by Jocelyn Hobbie ~

(You shouldn't have bid on that.  I didn't bid on it.  It just came in.)  

Out loud, I said "I am going to have too many clothes."  See, I changed it up a bit.  That went back and forth between my true love and I for a bit.  Being the practical person he is, I don't remember a thing he said, other than it helped clarify what I said, or the fact that I said it.  Meanwhile I was reeling with the ramifications.  I mean, this changes everything.  Everything.  First, I took a meandering trip down the river of deNile.  Followed by bursts of kick boxing with my shadow self.  Then got lost in a fog.  Oh, don't forget the naps.  You know, the usual 5 steps.  And here I am, true confessions.  WTF am I going to do now!?!

sigh.  sigh with arms folded across chest.  that's a little defensive isn't it?  hmmm.  Well, let's stop moaning and groaning and take stock.  It's a new world out there/ in here.  Ha!  It's a new year.  

It's not all bad.  I did stop going to stores (including thrift stores) and buying clothes.  I did get to the point where I now have clothes that fit me, I like them, and I feel good in them.  That's huge.  I was batting zero on all three when I started the Project.  And I've come to know, stumble across really, what I like to wear.  That was something I wanted to get to and I have.  yea.  I wear what I want, where I want, even at home.  I like that. 

Downside is, consumption has steadily crept in.  First with ebay shoes.  Then with sewing patterns, and sale fabric.  Now more fabric and some warm socks.  I don't need any of these things.  None.  I have enough of all of them.  Really, but I know in my soul I'll at the least buy some more patterns sooner or later - probably Tina Givens.

(A) Way To Go

~ Photograph from the Levitation Series by Natsumi Hayashi  ~

I've gotta keep moving.  Tomorrow's the end of Summer quarter here, the report will be due with all the completed projects posted.  (hands to head!)  Nothing like a deadline.

Here's the latest thing finished.

 layering over a dark sheath

is my new high-low dress

in a semi-sheer abstract print

You can see the dress up close and personal, plus the pattern used on my Clothes for Summer page.  And now for something really interesting...

Fabric Scrap Gems

Okay, we had our gift swap yesterday.  So fun.  Boy, do we know each other.  And we didn't take any pictures either!   We just started this officially last year, exchanging something hand-made and/or thrifted.

I was on a fabric jewelry making binge.  Still am actually.  I didn't know who should get what, so I wrapped them up in Modern Painter pages glued onto round cheese boxes.  They were left to pick whichever package they liked best.  Oh, too bad there's no photos of that either.

But I did take pix of the stuff before it went on its merry way...

~ BEFORE ~

See what came after, after the break...

Fabrics & Frocks From Fabulous Friends

As the new year opens, I want to acknowledge the wonderful friends who have sent fantastic fabric and fabulous frockery my way.

~ painting by Adrian Baker ~

You won't believe the spectacle of amazingness you are about to see.  Many thanks go to Melanie from blogland; P from school; and my gal gang E, S and V.

See all the pics after the break... 

Quietly and Spot On

Let me tell you a little story about how the universe works.

~ artwork by Marieloes Reek ~

 
The other day I'm in my studio, and my true love comes in with a bag of stuff, dumps it out on the floor, and lo and behold... There are my red Doc Martin's along with some colorful socks and athletic shoes that I had donated to the Salvation Army over 10 years ago.  Apparently the bag ended up in the basement instead.  (what was I thinking?)

Swap-o-Rama

Style Agent 909 suggested we all link up and do an on-line swap this Saturday, September 22.  So here I am with what I have to offer:

 Black suede heels, says size 8, feels like size 7

These shoes are in excellent condition inside and out, top and bottom.  They're too small for me now and too high.

To Be and To Have

Okay, I declare the studio and art supply room are done and done.  The studio is really cleaned and completely re-organized to my satisfaction and the supply room is good enough to move on.  That took 2 weeks to do with intervening naps when overwhelmingness over came me.

artwork by Alli Arnold.

That leaves the enclosed back porch (if I really need more space) and the dressing room as the next target areas.   I just can't bring myself to deal with that disaster area - aka my dressing room - right now.  awwkk!  It is filled with all the clothes unearthed from ___________ (fill in the blank).

It was about this time last year when I started Project Minima and decided to do something about my accumulation of things, especially clothes.  What I had decided to do was remake whatever didn't fit, I didn't like, or wear. So now I have all this unwearable stuff that has become my fabric stash, so to speak.

This is My Studio in Chaos

painting by Joaquin Mateo.

May Day, May Day.  This is the state of my studio, dressing room, supply area... I have decided this last month of my year long commitment called Project Minima shall be ___________!  I'm at a loss for words.

Cleaning, organizing, sorting it out, re-organizing, re-structuring, re-thinking, re-planning, making it work, etc., etc., etc.  I can't continue to ignore

The Next Generation

painting by Gaston La Touche.

Just a wee note.  I have pix of my baby clothes that I gave to a new baby.  These were the ones my Mom hand-sewed for the infant me and then gave to me this past Fall.

You can read more about them in my post Hand Me Downs   And then again in Life Laundry - White Wash.  So cute.

One Way or Another

photo by Nina Leen

...I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha.  And that's what I did.

I really needed some garters for all those thigh highs I made when I cut off the legs of my too small tights.  I thought they would just stay up with some elastic stitched together kinda like a rubber band, but no way.  I was walking around with baggy socks, man.  I didn't want to break my no-buying streak of 4 months for something as dumb as garters!  Yet I could not think of any other way to hold up stockings.

Garter Barter was put in motion.  I traded an amber necklace I picked up on a trip to Egypt for...wait for it...mattress garters.  yeah.  Check out my garter apparatus and the stash from whence my necklace came.

Prequel

Buddha with mudra of greeting, prayer & respect

Just the facts please.

I want to do this, I want to have a plan of sorts and a commitment, therefore a blog is born during my birthday month of June.

Say 15 minutes a day of working toward it, or once a week.  We'll see how it goes.  I don't want to get overwhelmed, nor jump the gun and do something too radical that I'll later regret.

Goal is recognizing my style(?): or